Warmth in the Air, Overwintered
We have been germinating all this time!
When Rose left in October for maternity leave I sort of spun off my axis and stalled out a little. Months of careful preparation both logistically and emotionally did very little, as it turns out, to prepare me for the change! A few weeks later, I announced that I was taking a break from designing new knitting patterns.
It’s been a funny sort of break from the routine of the last two years, but what felt certain was that I was unable to continue in the way things had been going. With spring becoming ever present and my brain thawing out a bit, I thought that now was maybe a good time to come back in longer format, reconnect, and get something down in words!
In this edition of the digest, I will basically just be catching you guys up on what I’ve been doing in the studio! I hope it’s interesting to hear a bit about the logic around the decisions I’ve been making and to get a bit of insight into the processes!
Starting Fresh
A big part of my decision to take a break from designing new patterns was that I felt the cycle of newness and promotion becoming stifling. I lost track a little of what is exciting to me in a design sense and what my vision was for the patterns I wanted to bring into the world. I even ended up cancelling a release we had planned, even though the pattern was entirely finished and only needed testing! Punitive algorithms on the platforms I rely on for sales felt like they were squeezing out small businesses left and right and I was seeing so many brands I love shuttering, especially many of the size-inclusive, sustainable brands that had inspired me to design clothing in the first place. It’s also a difficult thing when your image and personality are coopted long term in service of your income. I don’t think it’s talked about enough, it’s such a strange side effect of self-employment in the social media era! The dynamics of marginalisation play into that aspect so much as well, and it was getting really challenging to be marketing using my fat body in a moment where it feels culturally and politically less welcome not just in fashion spaces, but the world at large.
I’m not unfamiliar with making these difficult decisions around work- canceling sales and launches in favour of my mental and physical health- I’ve done it before, but it is always really frightening on a financial level, and I’m so thankful to the people who have continued to purchase and recommend the amazing patterns we have worked on for the last few years. It is a real privilege to have a digital product and I’ve really appreciated having a cushion during this change of pace that is so necessary and so non-monetisable! I have to remember as someone with mental and physical health conditions that can seriously vary in intensity that life can’t always have a rigid plan or be predictable- to my great chagrin ahah!
New Pattern Development
Since my break, Maria and I (I can’t remember if I’ve introduced her yet! She is the mastermind behind Wild Knits Glasgow and is taking on the pattern maths part of Rose’s job) have been working on two things.
The first is a pattern for a top that can be made three ways- long sleeved, short sleeved, and sleeveless, and uses a beautiful scrap technique to create lovely irregular but ordered stripes. I felt an intense need to get back to what I love most about making patterns - knits you can make one million ways that are silly business decisions on my part bc it means people only need to buy one pattern! I just love real workhorse patterns that you can return to time and again for different looks yeknow? I also really wanted to go back to my rough and ready approach to yarn choices and provide more waste reduction suggestions, as well as having the time to be laboriously slow and perfectionist about fit!
We spent a lot of time in the last few years learning how to do things extremely by the book which I appreciate a LOT, but I’m so excited to be playing around with finding my own style of working. To be honest I don’t think this pattern will launch until autumn! And hopefully that will be ok? There are SO many amazing patterns in my catalogue that I’m so proud of, I feel there should be no rush! I guess the big takeaway is please keep making things from my patterns!
Knitting Machine Exploration!
One of the big way’s I’ve been getting back into creative flow is deciding that this will FINALLY be the year that I figure out how to use a knitting machine in earnest! I’m renting this one from Rose just now and getting so much use out of it. It doesn’t have punch card capacity but is easy to use for intarsia so I have been going to town!!! I didn’t realise that manual machine intarsia was so labour intensive- you still have to hand manipulate the yarns for every row! I started by making a plain banner to embroider a poem onto, then I moved on to making one mostly plain with an intarsia boot and embroidering the poem on afterwards. I made a few practice pieces over christmas and have made wee attempts at more ambitious compositions. I’m still working out the best ways to compose readable designs in this format and what construction works best for me, but I’m so so so soooo happy to be exploring art for its own sake again!
On the business side of things, I discovered that there are very few patterns that are size inclusive for knitting machines because the bed has a limited number of stitches! SO Maria and I have been working together on trying to figure out designing and grading a basic, set-in sleeve pullover in my standard size and shape range that I can potentially use for custom designs using seamed pieces. I’ve never sold custom work because of what feels like the impossibility of being paid fairly for my time, but using the machine I could potentially trial doing a few wee customs? WHO KNOWS! But it’s exciting to have a pattern of my own as a general resource, and I’ve learned sooo much about construction on the machine omg! We seem to be nearing some kind of finish line on this and I can’t wait to show you all a completed garment sample instead of all the weird tiny samples I've been making!
Also bonus fun news the Dyke of Wellington one just got pre selected for the RSA annual exhibition :) Means there’s a chance you might be allowed to see it irl soon? I’m not obsessed with the RSA but from time to time when I need to remember I’m allowed to be an artist too I submit a piece just to like show myself I believe in myself? I think it’s a nice thing to do.
Writing Things
I’ve been working away at writing my novel (I’m not actually sure if I’ve ever admitted that on this newsletter actually!) There’s something a bit vulnerable about talking about writing a novel, it’s such a weird, private process that feels very ephemeral and maybe I’m nervous it seems a bit pretentious? I always want to share little excerpts of first draft bits outside of my insta stories but I don’t know if they’re of interest to anyone. I feel so shy about sharing but I also feel like it helps me to let go of shame or awkwardness when I just put stuff out there and let go of my control, so I feel conflicted. Posting and sharing stuff has always been a way that I track progress and mark for myself that I’ve ticked something off, so long-form writing has really challenged that part of how I work!
Anyway I finally got my word count over twenty thousand and wow it really is starting to feel real now. It’s been a wonderful process so far and I really feel my writing growing so much in it- only thing that’s annoying is how aggressively I’ll have to re-write everything but that’s for future me! Currently I’m just trying to write like 500 words a few days each week and get stuff down.
I’m trying to get back into poetry as wee exercises, but not super into anything from the last few months. I’ll close out by sharing with you a poem I’m proud of from last summer and a silly horny blackout poem I did this morning using an ad from the ‘50s for a self cleaning spark plug.
Two Mums June 29th 2024 It was nectar at the base of a nose Unfurling 1 Segment sweet that orange or other Fruits segmented on New napkins each year just because she Really likes them- she said ‘I just really think you’ll like them’ Sometimes it’s Denby, heavy plates like Tasting rocks, deep crouch in The lanes between farms Puddle-slick in her mouth and Nose, unfurling It was Renewing 2 She had that notebook with the Laminated photo of Oscar Wilde Cupped hands to her mouth it was Curling, her hair where the water Out-rippled Sometimes it’s living wings, tender break Like cigarette burns or a Note about your mother, folded Out and pinned, out-lived Renewing I couldn’t see her poetry until he died
Okay, that’s me! Hope there was something there that gave you joy or entertained you :)
Love
From
Lydia
Winter is hard, great to see you are beginning to bud forth again. So much to love about this update, thank you.